"Pain and heartache exist when you care too much about life" - hunny, 2010

Kau doktor hatiku

Don't you ever wish there is such thing as a "heart" doctor?

I do. Ever since I realize that I don't really have total control of what is in my heart, I wish there is a person that I can go to - with tools, charts and antibiotics to make my heart as good as new.

I wish the person could scan my heart, show me what's it made of, then cut out all the bad feelings that I have. After that, he/she can give me "antibiotics" and exercise regime to make sure the problematic parts won't appear again.

Wouldn't this world be much better place if such person do exist?


We had one before, longgg before our times. Unfortunately, we were not among the chosen ones to receive his consultations directly.

Fillers

I just realized I haven't posted any entry for March yet. So, here's one.

Yep, that's about it :P


Oh, and yes, the "chess game" is not over yet. A tough game is still ensuing. And everyone seems to be cheering the opponent now.

I'm starting to question - why am I still continuing this game? Right now, I feel like handing the "King" to my bosses or the judges and just let them decide what they want to do with it.

I have this strong inner work ethics that pushed me to always strive to do the right thing and to do it right - even if it means compromising on timeline and cost (fortunately, where I work, I have the luxury to do this hehe). That's why I always think of myself as a Consultant rather than a Project Manager. But there is only so much that you can do and advise. At the end of the day, you can give the other person the sandwich, but you cannot force them to eat it.

Checkmate???

I have until Thursday to think of my next move that will determine whether is this just another check or is it already checkmate.

And I thought I had already killed their Queen.

Sigghhhhh


And the 'chess' match between my team and the no-sense vendor team continues....

Do you know what you have and don't have in your car?

After tonight, I know that I have enough tools in my car to take out the car battery (though not my own unfortunately :p), but not enough to jump-start another car.

I know that I don't have a torch-light in my car.

I don't know whether I can use the AAM services if I want to jump-start another car using my own car. (need the AAM services to bring the cable and do it for me that is :p)

I know that I need to find the tongkat that will keep my bonnet upright. It was kinda embarassing not being able to answer that just now :p (I'm blaming it on the dark and the panicky situation though. Plus, it's not like I make it a habit to poke my head under there :p).

I realized that there are still some good samaritans out there in KL willing to help some damsels in distress.

And above all, we learned tonight that a loss that we are facing can actually be a blessing in disguise. And we learned that a loss becomes trivial and almost meaningless when you had to focus on bigger issues in life.

i.e.

Loss of shoes, you can still go home.
Loss of 'car battery', you are stuck in rut.

A purrrfect holiday :)

Holiday's over. Sigghhh....

It had been good to go back to my parents place and be pampered by them. It's somehow hard to be the efficient, think-on-your-feet corporate superwoman at home with your parents when they cook your favourite food, scold you when you eat with your left hand (I tend to do that when I'm using the spoon to eat :p) and drive you to town to take you shopping. Yep, to them I'm still their little girl who still needs to be taken care of. But it is wonderful to be able to just let go, not having to be in control for just a few days. Going back to the parents' place is like going into my very own sanctuary. I can feel the stress and work-related worries leaving me the closer that I get to home.

I wanted to write more. I had a few things in mind to write about but I just couldn't bear to go sit for long at the computer and type it up. One of these days perhaps, you may get to read what's on my mind ;) So my three days at home was spent eating, sleeping, talking, eating, sleeping, eating, shopping and eating again. The only strenuous activity that I did in the three days is trying to "tackle" my parent's cat.

Early last year, a female cat who often frequented the house had unceremoniously dropped her kitten at my parents' doorsteps. Since then, my parents had been feeding him at the kitchen's yard, which it now had made it his home. However, for some reason, it is very wary of humans. The first time that I saw the cat after I got back from UK, it ran away just from the sight of me. But after the third time that I went back, the cat finally accepted that this new person actually belongs to this place as well. Having said that, it only allowed me to feed him but not to touch him.

This time around, I spent more time with him, feeding him, talking to him that he trust me enough to come and rub his head around my legs. But whenever I bend down to touch him, he'll ran a few steps away and then starts to guling2 while giving me the "seductive" looks. And if I go to him, he'll ran away a few more steps and do the guling2 again. Really!! Macam heroine Hindustan :p

Well, as of tonight, I finally got to stroke him, but only during feeding time. Under sufferance, that's how my mother had described it.

Tomorrow, it's back to dealing with people again. Sigghh...

I am....

...Incoherent (can't blog) ...


...Undefined (don't know what to blog about) ...


...Perplexed (too difficult to explain) ...


...Tired ...


...But....


...I feel a glimmer of happiness ...


I'm loving it


:)