Thursday, January 22, 2015

It's day +20 today.

Day 0 to day +15 has to be the longest 2 weeks of my life. Never have I felt time moved so slowly as that two weeks.

The first week, she was suspected to have mucositis. We couldn't detect any blisters but she suddenly stopped breastfeeding. Only a mother would understand how heartbreaking and worried I was then. Doctor immediately prescribed her Morphine to ensure she is not in pain.

In week 2, on day +10, finally came the good news that the marrow had start engrafting. But our relief and joy was overtaken by news of a serious side effect from the Chemo drug, the veno occlusive disease (VOD). VOD in layman term is the dysfunction of the liver that caused the liver to enlarged and body unable to excrete fluids. Her liver had enlarged from 4cm to 8cm and gained 1kg of weight due to the accumulation of fluids. She was all puffy, the poor dear and had to begiven some drugs to help her pee out the water from her body.

Doctor had to start her on Defibriotide - the expensive drug meant for VOD. Alhamdulillah, with Allah's will, we finally saw the effect from the drug a week later. At day +20, the liver is now at 5cm. Hoping it will shrink further tomorrow.

At times it felt like a scene from House where one symptom after another starts appearing. The comforting thing is that the symptoms are somewhat expected by the doctor hence they are prepared with the necessary interventions, alhamdulillah.

Tomorrow is another milestone for Hana. Tomorrow, the doctor plans to convert all her meds to oral instead of through IV. With that, she will be free to walk around (be carried around the room that is) and no longer be tied to the machine. This is an important step before doctor can finally discharge her from the hospital.

Therein begins a new challenge for us.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Today is Day +2.

Means 2 days has passed since the day of the transplant.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah...

The transplant operation went smoothly. My son turns out to be such a brave and strong boy, Masya Allah. Mommy is sooo proud of him. We told him that he needs to go through this to help "adik", and he seems to understand it. I hope that he will redha with the gift that he have to his little sister. And I hope that they will continue to be close and always look out for one another.

Hana is holding out well, alhamdulillah. She had 2 expected symptoms - diarrhea and sore throat. Doctor not so worried and is keeping her under close observation.

The more worrying thing, for me at least is her CVL, which had new blood today :(

Her white cell has gone down to 0.3 so this is a very critical stage for her to not get any infection.

Am praying that she goes through these coming weeks without any infection nor side effect/GVHD.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Final note for 2014

2014 has been a year of joy and a year of tears.

It was a year that we welcome our second child, our very own princess.

It was also a year of sadness, a challenging year for us when we found out our sweet little girl has thalassemia that is transfusion dependent.

In Allah's word, "..with hardship, there will come ease". Even in these challenging times, we are still humbled with His grace and mercy.

He gives us hope. Hope for a cure by giving a matching donor for bone marrow from her brother, our first born.

He gives us guidance. To be at peace with the decision to proceed with this risky operation.

He gives us strength, especially to our princess to be stong in going through these tough treatment.

He gives us love and rahmah, by giving her the best people to treat and take care of her.

And He gives us ease in all areas for us.

Today, on the last day of 2014, our daughter completed her chemotherapy to kill of all her stem cells.

May 2015 be the year of healing for her, and for all of us.


Saturday, November 1, 2014



Wow, 4 years since the last post...

Do I want to start this again?

Hmmm...let's wait and see...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Double Celebration

My birthday and the end of my 6-weeks confinement period, hoyeee ;D

My first ever "Happy Birthday Mum" card. ;D

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A new Ramadhan

Ramadhan is upon us again.

Each Ramadhan in the past few years had marked some meaningful milestones in my life. This year is my first to celebrate Ramadhan with my very own family. What made it more meaningful is the fact that my parents are here with us, and will be until mid of the month.

My house has never felt more homey than now after my mother took charge of the kitchen hehe. The house now is living to its full potential with all the areas, nook and crannies are being used to the fullest :D

My pantang days are almost over. Not that I was on a strict regime as my mother is quite reasonable hehe. Plus I am quite cautious of all this pantang larang. To me, there should be a valid reason for doing something or at least if I don't see an adverse effect of doing it. There are however some pantang larang which I would love to follow but circumstances wouldn't allow me to. One of it is to eat newly cooked and hot rice each time, no eating warmed up food. The other is to lie down most of the time and avoid seating up for too long. When u are berpantang in your own home with no maid, there's no way you can lie down most of the time. And walking slowly when your baby is screaming his head off is just unthinkable. Personally, to me, the pantang period is actually a luxury that not all mothers can afford to have.

Anyhow, I do look foward to the end of this confinement period and hopefully can perform my fasting obligation. I will be sad as well though as it means my parents will be going back soon. Even though I am a mother now, you just never tire of being fussed over by ur own mother ;)

Monday, July 25, 2011

Confinement period means...

I finally get to watch Grey's Anatomy Season 7. Yeayy.. I've had the series in my laptop for months now.

I must say I'm liking Owen more and more now. ;)