Almost a year has past since the last post...

...and I am in a totally different place now.

I was re-reading my last post, talking about change, talking about moving on to the next level in life.

Perhaps that feeling had signified that I am ready to move on to the next level.

Allah indeed is the Most Know-It-All in his blessings. Subhanallah. I've been in awed, humbled and full of gratitude for the last 10 months; at the same time anxious of going through these new phases of God's test.

Almost a year has past, and since then I have become a wife to a wonderful man that Allah had ordained for me.

Almost a year has past, and for the last 36 weeks, I have been carrying God's miracle inside me. A truly beautiful experience that Allah had bestowed upon me :)

Subhanallah.

Plus 1

Today, I am a year older.

Yesterday, I had spent the whole day with my friends doing what I used to love - hanging out, watching movie, shopping and talking about anything and everything. It was fun as I haven't met this friend ever since I came back here. Yet deep down I realized that I don't love the outing like I used to. I felt slightly detached with the whole environment as though I no longer belong there. Perhaps I don't. Perhaps I am now ready to move on with my life, and take on a new step.

I want to say goodbye to the old me and embrace this new person that I want to be. However, I've been conditioned for far too long already that I immediately step into the same old pattern each day. It's a continuous battle day in day out that you almost believe you can't step out of that mold.

The sombreness aside, I truly believe that birthdays are here to remind you of the wonderful and caring people that you have around you. They may not always be visible, but during this important event of your life, they'll take the time to show you they remember and they care.

To all my wonderful and dear friends, thank you for the gift of your friendship.

Yuuuuhuuuu......!!!

Anybody home???

July had been a bad, bad, stressful month. August didn't start any better but hopefully Ramadhan will slow things down a bit.

And I just realized that I have anger management issues. Hmmm....My bosses are tiptoeing around me right now errr.... I feel quite guilty now.

Life is yet to be in the order that I want.

Plus I'm on caffeine withdrawal mode now. That could be the reason for all the angst right now :P

Oh, have I mentioned that I miss you? Yes. You. :)

In case I don't see ya, (for the next few days, weeks or months, :p), good afternoon, good evening, and good night!

When change is a constant thing

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France


The past two months had been a month of change. Too many of them that I am almost numb to them and not knowing how to react anymore. Alhamdulillah though, most of that changes had turn out to be great ones, with one or two on the low ends. Work, personal, family and friends have gone through some really major changes far awaaay from what i expected when I first came back.

I am happy and there are joy in my life; unexpected joy which I thought I had lost it once. Yet I can't help to still be wary, knowing how easy it had been to lose it.


When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl


I had regressed on my own effort to change. Alas, I had allowed myself to flow with the tide and now it had become much harder to swim against it. I need strength, of will and determination to continue this tough fight...against my own self.


I miss blogging, but the time and mood have not allowed me to do so.
I owe Ms B a post as well, which hopefully I can do so soon.

Of sisterhood and team

Owen: Good work today, Grey, We're a good team.

Meredith: You know, we're not a team. Cristina and I are a team. I watch you today, watch Teddy, and Mark. You were jealous. It took a long time to make Cristina happy, and she is finally happy. If you mess with that, I will turn on you. That's a team.


Is this post going somewhere?

A recent email from a very close friend reminded me of the strong sisterhood bond we had back in our Uni days. If any guy messed with any of us, people will sooo know about it, coz the whole girls unit would have snubbed him bad.

You mess with any of us, we will turn on you. That's a team.

"Pain and heartache exist when you care too much about life" - hunny, 2010

Kau doktor hatiku

Don't you ever wish there is such thing as a "heart" doctor?

I do. Ever since I realize that I don't really have total control of what is in my heart, I wish there is a person that I can go to - with tools, charts and antibiotics to make my heart as good as new.

I wish the person could scan my heart, show me what's it made of, then cut out all the bad feelings that I have. After that, he/she can give me "antibiotics" and exercise regime to make sure the problematic parts won't appear again.

Wouldn't this world be much better place if such person do exist?


We had one before, longgg before our times. Unfortunately, we were not among the chosen ones to receive his consultations directly.