End with the old, in with the new.

It is now Week 2 of Term 2. Last Friday was the final submission date for the final assignment of the modules in Term 1, even though Term 2 had already started. That's the UK system for you. The 4 weeks holiday given are not for you to spend them partay-ing. The expect you to bury your head into the books. :p I had 3 assignments and 1 exam to study for for the holiday. But I did manage to sneak off to Southern Spain and shopping sakan on Boxing Day in Glasgow, muahahaha :D

Yup, the blog was on hiatus for a while, partly due to the hectic 2 weeks before the holiday where a few of the assignments were due (especially the killer "Informating" essay), another part would be my trip to Spain and Glasgow, and lastly of course the 3 weeks of completing the last 3 assignments and exam for term 1. I feel like I've been writing essays for ages already.

The worst part was that on the day that I submitted the final assignment i.e. last Friday, we got the result for the killer essay. It wasn't good. Well, 3/4 of the class got about the same marks for the essay, so it can be considered an average score. Even the lecturer said it was a good mark, haha. Funny. The good thing though, after meeting up with the lecturer, I know what mistakes that I made, what should I improve on. Given that this was my first attempt at academic writing, I guess I have to give myself a break. Plus, he said mine was among the better ones for that particular topic (I hope that wasn't just lip service :p).

New year came quietly for me this year. I hardly noticed it at all as my calendar is now based on the academic calendar, hehe. I spent the whole day in the room doing my assignment. I haven't celebrate new year for quite some time now, and have stopped doing all the new year resolution thingy for ages. It had never worked for me anyway, :p. What I normally did though, was to identify my focus for the new year. This helped to shape my behaviour and what I'd do for that year.

Last new year was a turbulent time for me. I couldn't recall what was the trigger. But I remember the sense of being lost, being lonely, being restless and being stagnant. Like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like being on a straight road in the middle of the desert, not knowing when will be the end and whether there will be change of scenery. Like a never-ending emptiness in front of you. It was a defining moment for me. A paradigm shift. Multiple ones. I found myself creating possibilities in my head that I would never consider before. During that time, I had almost changed my job, something I never see myself doing, at least not for another 5 years. I found myself considering the idea of renting out my apartment, something I never I thought I would do at all, given how much I love my place. I had even thought about going to work overseas, haha. But I think that was just wishful thinking. I don't think I am that good to be hired by an overseas company. And I think it will be just too lonely to do so.

Allah Maha Kaya and Maha Mengetahui. He had already made plans for us all. A few weeks into the new year, a friend told me about an opening for a scholarship to do Masters program in UK. I was quite hesitant initially. While doing my Masters was something that I had dreamt of for a long time already, there had never been an opportunity for it. And I had kind of buried it for a while. Buried, but never forgotten though. However, it was still a big step for me to do it at this stage, to uproot myself for a year to go study in UK, what with all my commitments, work, financial, personal, etc. But with taufiq dan hidayah dari Allah, He showed me the way. And He also gave me the strong support from my loved ones and my boss that had helped strengthened my resolve. Now, I felt like I'm on a new road with a new scenery. The possibilities of what this journey will give me is just endless. My hope is that I can experience them all and go out at the other end a better person.

I am still in that journey. This new year will be about learning, taking and experiencing as much as possible and become an improved person in all aspects - a more mature and respected individual, a more contributing member of the community and a more knowledgeable IT professional. To my loved ones, I hope they'll accept me and love me as much as before.

It snowed!!!

I was walking to class today and saw some white, grainy-looking stuff on the side of the pathway. My heart just thumped a bit faster, is that what I think that is?

It was!! Well, it was very light, and not much that you could do with it. But, it was still nice.

Then, when I got back to my room again in the afternoon, I actually saw them falling from the sky. Except that it wasn't exactly the snowflakes falling but slush, a mixture of snow and rain. So it wasn't as pretty. But it gives me hope that maybe I'll get to see and play in the snow this winter. :D

I need to think now whether I should get a snowboot or not. hmmm....

I am feeling...

Bloated.

Really, really bloated.

If it's because of my period, then this is indeed a new symptom for me. It's not that I am not eating. I do eat, a lot now that it's winter :p. But yesterday and today, during dinner, I can't seem to eat coz I am feeling so bloated. Food just could not go in there anymore. I tried exercising, heh, but all it did was make me sleep. And I woke up today, still feeling bloated, aarrghh...

On the good side of it, though, I am eating less for dinner. :)

The feeling of being in love

I downloaded the e-books of the Twilight series a few weeks back and tonight somehow I got hooked on the first book. Most of its fans probably fell in love with the two characters, Edward and Bella, and the extraordinary love story between a normal girl, Bella with Edward, the "vegetarian" vampire (a vampire that does not suck human bloods).

To me, what got me hooked on the book was how the love story between Bella and Edward unfold. The uncertainties that they felt about each other in the initial stage, how they start showing interest to each other, and all the actions and conversations that they had reminds me so much of the early days of my relationship. Reading about them felt like reliving those memories and those feelings again - the butterfly in the stomach, the lightheadedness, the anxiety at every little things and the beautiful contented feeling of knowing you are loved.

A friend once said to me, "being in love can make you feel the happiest, but it can also make you feel the most miserable." How true it was, yet once you've felt the love, you would not want to not feel it again.

I am currently restraining myself from reading the second book. 3 more weeks to go till end of term. Be strong now.


ps: Twilight the movie is coming out in UK cinema on 19th December.

Of being here..

J asked me recently, how do I like living in UK? And my answer was, "Best." Probably not a good answer to your boyfriend who's thousand of miles away from you, heh. But that's me I guess, honest to a fault at times.

"Best" though is very subjective. Another person living my life here now in this godforesaken place may be screaming to go home within a week! In fact, shortly before I came here, a friend of a friend had warned me that I'm going to be living a life of impending boredom here.

But I think it depends on what you look for to make you happy.

And what I wanted to do was to get down from the "merry-go-round of my current life" and just walk in the park or sit down and just read a book. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. Alhamdulillah, things have been great for me. It's just that, it feels too much like, well like a merry-go-round, it just goes round the circle and seems to go nowhere.

Being here, to some degree is quite liberating. It's as though you are charting new path(s) in life. Suddenly you have dreams again. You can choose what you want to be. And you can choose who you want to be.

I like that last part the most i.e. a chance to re-invent myself. It is as close to the opportunity to being "re-born", to put it in an extreme. Whether you emerged a different person is another thing altogether. Probably you will end up being your most comfortable self again. But the possibility of it is just exciting.

I am loving it here for the fact that my life now feels like it has a purpose, a goal. I love the fact that I am learning new things, not only in the classroom, but new things in life itself, and learning new things about myself as well. And I am loving the fact that I get to make changes to myself, improve myself and be a better person, hopefully.

So, yes, I am loving it here. Do I want to stay here for more than a year? Most probably not. But will I get on that merry-go-round again, that remains to be seen.

Of Friends in Friendster..

It has been a long while since I've opened my Friendster account. I've totally forgotten that I had it if not for a friend who mentioned it a few days back. When logging in, I even keyed in the wrong password heh. Berhabuk dah profile ku.

I expected to see nothing new there. But surprise surprise there were some nice messages in my inbox. One was from an ex-housemate whom I had not seen for a quite a while since she moved to Penang after she got married. She now has a two-year old daughter and preggy with a new one. I still remember us hanging out together at home, or going for roti canai together, and hanging at her shop trying out sunglasses haha. I missed my personal optometrist gals.

Another message was from a long, long lost friend. She was my best friend back in my Primary 5. However, when I changed school during my primary 6, We lost contact and haven't heard from each other since. And now, she found me in Friendster! Hopefully, we can keep in touch again after all these years.

There was also a message from a 36 year old guy, nak berkenalan. Hmm....

You know you've settled down in a place....

...when you start feeling comfortable cooking there.


I am very fussy about cooking.

I don't like to cook in a strange kitchen where I don't know how things work and where everything is.

I don't like to cook when I don't have all the ingredients and the tools that I need (or ones that I'm familiar with).

I would rather eat peanut butter and jelly sandwich everyday rather than cook in an unfamiliar kitchen that does not have my full set of items there.

(That's why I was so obsessed with making my kitchen as complete as possible when I first move in into my house previously. Even forgoing the need for a bed, hehe..)

So after a month of collecting bits and pieces, here and there, I am finally at home in my kitchen here. I have all the things that I need now.

I have my own set of Tefal cookware now - a small saucepan with lid, an omelette pan and a mini wok, courtesy of my recent trip to Glasgow. I am soo loving them right now. Makes my cooking so much easier.

I'm also loving my mini rice cooker, which I am also cooking pasta inside it and steaming broccolis.

I have a mini roasting tin for me to bake potatoes and grill salmons.

Everything is so mini, easy to handle and to wash, yet big enough to cook for one or two people.

All of these items will fit nicely in my own kitchen back home.

For now though, I am at home in my kitchen here. :)


ps: I sounded more and more like a housewife now, don't I? :p