I am feeling...

Bloated.

Really, really bloated.

If it's because of my period, then this is indeed a new symptom for me. It's not that I am not eating. I do eat, a lot now that it's winter :p. But yesterday and today, during dinner, I can't seem to eat coz I am feeling so bloated. Food just could not go in there anymore. I tried exercising, heh, but all it did was make me sleep. And I woke up today, still feeling bloated, aarrghh...

On the good side of it, though, I am eating less for dinner. :)

The feeling of being in love

I downloaded the e-books of the Twilight series a few weeks back and tonight somehow I got hooked on the first book. Most of its fans probably fell in love with the two characters, Edward and Bella, and the extraordinary love story between a normal girl, Bella with Edward, the "vegetarian" vampire (a vampire that does not suck human bloods).

To me, what got me hooked on the book was how the love story between Bella and Edward unfold. The uncertainties that they felt about each other in the initial stage, how they start showing interest to each other, and all the actions and conversations that they had reminds me so much of the early days of my relationship. Reading about them felt like reliving those memories and those feelings again - the butterfly in the stomach, the lightheadedness, the anxiety at every little things and the beautiful contented feeling of knowing you are loved.

A friend once said to me, "being in love can make you feel the happiest, but it can also make you feel the most miserable." How true it was, yet once you've felt the love, you would not want to not feel it again.

I am currently restraining myself from reading the second book. 3 more weeks to go till end of term. Be strong now.


ps: Twilight the movie is coming out in UK cinema on 19th December.

Of being here..

J asked me recently, how do I like living in UK? And my answer was, "Best." Probably not a good answer to your boyfriend who's thousand of miles away from you, heh. But that's me I guess, honest to a fault at times.

"Best" though is very subjective. Another person living my life here now in this godforesaken place may be screaming to go home within a week! In fact, shortly before I came here, a friend of a friend had warned me that I'm going to be living a life of impending boredom here.

But I think it depends on what you look for to make you happy.

And what I wanted to do was to get down from the "merry-go-round of my current life" and just walk in the park or sit down and just read a book. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. Alhamdulillah, things have been great for me. It's just that, it feels too much like, well like a merry-go-round, it just goes round the circle and seems to go nowhere.

Being here, to some degree is quite liberating. It's as though you are charting new path(s) in life. Suddenly you have dreams again. You can choose what you want to be. And you can choose who you want to be.

I like that last part the most i.e. a chance to re-invent myself. It is as close to the opportunity to being "re-born", to put it in an extreme. Whether you emerged a different person is another thing altogether. Probably you will end up being your most comfortable self again. But the possibility of it is just exciting.

I am loving it here for the fact that my life now feels like it has a purpose, a goal. I love the fact that I am learning new things, not only in the classroom, but new things in life itself, and learning new things about myself as well. And I am loving the fact that I get to make changes to myself, improve myself and be a better person, hopefully.

So, yes, I am loving it here. Do I want to stay here for more than a year? Most probably not. But will I get on that merry-go-round again, that remains to be seen.

Of Friends in Friendster..

It has been a long while since I've opened my Friendster account. I've totally forgotten that I had it if not for a friend who mentioned it a few days back. When logging in, I even keyed in the wrong password heh. Berhabuk dah profile ku.

I expected to see nothing new there. But surprise surprise there were some nice messages in my inbox. One was from an ex-housemate whom I had not seen for a quite a while since she moved to Penang after she got married. She now has a two-year old daughter and preggy with a new one. I still remember us hanging out together at home, or going for roti canai together, and hanging at her shop trying out sunglasses haha. I missed my personal optometrist gals.

Another message was from a long, long lost friend. She was my best friend back in my Primary 5. However, when I changed school during my primary 6, We lost contact and haven't heard from each other since. And now, she found me in Friendster! Hopefully, we can keep in touch again after all these years.

There was also a message from a 36 year old guy, nak berkenalan. Hmm....

You know you've settled down in a place....

...when you start feeling comfortable cooking there.


I am very fussy about cooking.

I don't like to cook in a strange kitchen where I don't know how things work and where everything is.

I don't like to cook when I don't have all the ingredients and the tools that I need (or ones that I'm familiar with).

I would rather eat peanut butter and jelly sandwich everyday rather than cook in an unfamiliar kitchen that does not have my full set of items there.

(That's why I was so obsessed with making my kitchen as complete as possible when I first move in into my house previously. Even forgoing the need for a bed, hehe..)

So after a month of collecting bits and pieces, here and there, I am finally at home in my kitchen here. I have all the things that I need now.

I have my own set of Tefal cookware now - a small saucepan with lid, an omelette pan and a mini wok, courtesy of my recent trip to Glasgow. I am soo loving them right now. Makes my cooking so much easier.

I'm also loving my mini rice cooker, which I am also cooking pasta inside it and steaming broccolis.

I have a mini roasting tin for me to bake potatoes and grill salmons.

Everything is so mini, easy to handle and to wash, yet big enough to cook for one or two people.

All of these items will fit nicely in my own kitchen back home.

For now though, I am at home in my kitchen here. :)


ps: I sounded more and more like a housewife now, don't I? :p