The year that was

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

2009 had given me some of the best experience in my life, but it had also given me the most painful one as well.

Having the opportunity to spend 3 quarters of the year in UK was something that I had hoped for for years but never thought that it would come true. It was a dream that I had almost given up on. I still find it unbelievable that I had got it. The amazing thing about doing the Masters was not the course itself. But it was the whole package - the experience of being in UK, living there, interacting with culturally-diversed people and re-discovering yourself in a totally new environment. The experience was just priceless. I have always value self-improvement for I cannot stand for myself to be stagnant. Life is just too short for that. Surprisingly, I found enlightenment there in UK, more than I had when I spent a month of Ramadhan in Makkah 2 years back.This convinced me that The Light belongs to God, and that He decides who, when and where He will bestowed them. No, by enlightenment I don't mean that I am a saint now, but there is this new awareness inside me, a clearer view of right and wrong that wasn't there before. But I also realize that this is just a starting point. And the journey is still a long one. And I realize that the challenge of just keeping that Light alive is a struggle on its own. That Light though is what made me feel 2009 was the best of times for me.

But 2009 had also brought to me my most painful experience, the bleakest times so far in my life. It had taken me by surprise coz I never thought that that pain existed and that it could happen to me. It had subsided but there is still a fear in me of going through that pain again, knowing that it could be even worst than that. Once bitten, twice shy I guess. Unfortunately, that fear may stay with me even as I stepped into a brand new year.

I don't do resolutions. I stopped since my schooling years. Doesn't really work for me. What I normally do is envision what I want to see myself in the new year. This year though, I had started early. I did it as I entered the new age bracket back in August. Part of the 'enlightened' me I guess. And the vision is to be even more "enlightened" as the new year come and goes.

Let's pray for 2010 to be a better year for us in all aspects of our lives, insya Allah :)

happy...happy...happy

My UK stuffs have finally arrived!!!

I rushed home during lunchtime to received the boxes and couldn’t stop myself from opening them straight away.

As I was holding the sugar and tea jar that I had used back in UK, I felt this sense of happiness, the feeling of homecoming descended upon me. :)

Yes, it doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. Those who had thought of me as high maintenance, well think again :p

La la la la la *skipping in my head*