Friday, April 17, 2009

Finding my soul...

We are having a family day next weekend!!! :)

I'm not in the committee as I have 3 exams next week, and the last one would be on Friday, one day before the event itself. While I would have loved to offered to help, I don't think I could and should.

These past few days, I have been hanging out quite a lot at one Malaysian couple's place, who happen to be the main organizer for the event. I've been hanging out there a lot because a) she sells great Malaysian food, and b) I can't stand to be just by myself these past few days. It was just too...depressing. On the days that she didn't cook, I hang out at a colleague's place who happened to be alone as well since her husband just went back to his home country.

So, for the past few days, I've been listening to the details of the event, including the politics, the drama, the issues that went on within the committee. Today for some reason, it triggered something in me. It brought me back to the days when I was doing Tekad Kelantan. Gosh, I missed it. I missed the busy-ness of organizing something. Of trying to have everything in your head and at your fingertips. Of making decisions while running. I miss those moments. Not only that, I find that I'm even now missing my work and the demand that it had on me before. And that made me realize something: I am not made for inactivity. I am not made for sitting down and just doing research. I am a Planner and Doer. I need to do something that I can see afterwards the result of my hard work.

Now I know that my stint with academic work shall ends here, with just the Masters (which God willing I hope I'll do well). I may go into part-time teaching, but I don't think I'll ever attempt to do a PhD. I don't think I have the heart for it.

I think it is a good idea to send anyone in an organization that is close to burn out to do the Masters. I think it can serve to sharpen the appetite again for work. Like me. I am now rearing to go to work again. :)

4 comments:

Abu S.H said...

well..no Dr Hunny lah ni.... I tot akan ada...

Hunny said...

Kalau nak panggil jugak pun takpe, hehe

Noreen Izza said...

yup hunn. phd is a true permanent head damage which needs mental, physical, and soul fitness. i just hope that i can go through this journey... no pain no gain kan? please pray for me ya..

Hunny said...

Noreen babe...your heart and soul is in academic line, and I know you love doing research. You'll be allright girl :) And you have your most loyal supporter by your side always, who understand what you're going through and can do something about it as well.

Also, I'll come over and check up on you when you're more than half way through, insya Allah ;) hehe