End with the old, in with the new.

It is now Week 2 of Term 2. Last Friday was the final submission date for the final assignment of the modules in Term 1, even though Term 2 had already started. That's the UK system for you. The 4 weeks holiday given are not for you to spend them partay-ing. The expect you to bury your head into the books. :p I had 3 assignments and 1 exam to study for for the holiday. But I did manage to sneak off to Southern Spain and shopping sakan on Boxing Day in Glasgow, muahahaha :D

Yup, the blog was on hiatus for a while, partly due to the hectic 2 weeks before the holiday where a few of the assignments were due (especially the killer "Informating" essay), another part would be my trip to Spain and Glasgow, and lastly of course the 3 weeks of completing the last 3 assignments and exam for term 1. I feel like I've been writing essays for ages already.

The worst part was that on the day that I submitted the final assignment i.e. last Friday, we got the result for the killer essay. It wasn't good. Well, 3/4 of the class got about the same marks for the essay, so it can be considered an average score. Even the lecturer said it was a good mark, haha. Funny. The good thing though, after meeting up with the lecturer, I know what mistakes that I made, what should I improve on. Given that this was my first attempt at academic writing, I guess I have to give myself a break. Plus, he said mine was among the better ones for that particular topic (I hope that wasn't just lip service :p).

New year came quietly for me this year. I hardly noticed it at all as my calendar is now based on the academic calendar, hehe. I spent the whole day in the room doing my assignment. I haven't celebrate new year for quite some time now, and have stopped doing all the new year resolution thingy for ages. It had never worked for me anyway, :p. What I normally did though, was to identify my focus for the new year. This helped to shape my behaviour and what I'd do for that year.

Last new year was a turbulent time for me. I couldn't recall what was the trigger. But I remember the sense of being lost, being lonely, being restless and being stagnant. Like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Like being on a straight road in the middle of the desert, not knowing when will be the end and whether there will be change of scenery. Like a never-ending emptiness in front of you. It was a defining moment for me. A paradigm shift. Multiple ones. I found myself creating possibilities in my head that I would never consider before. During that time, I had almost changed my job, something I never see myself doing, at least not for another 5 years. I found myself considering the idea of renting out my apartment, something I never I thought I would do at all, given how much I love my place. I had even thought about going to work overseas, haha. But I think that was just wishful thinking. I don't think I am that good to be hired by an overseas company. And I think it will be just too lonely to do so.

Allah Maha Kaya and Maha Mengetahui. He had already made plans for us all. A few weeks into the new year, a friend told me about an opening for a scholarship to do Masters program in UK. I was quite hesitant initially. While doing my Masters was something that I had dreamt of for a long time already, there had never been an opportunity for it. And I had kind of buried it for a while. Buried, but never forgotten though. However, it was still a big step for me to do it at this stage, to uproot myself for a year to go study in UK, what with all my commitments, work, financial, personal, etc. But with taufiq dan hidayah dari Allah, He showed me the way. And He also gave me the strong support from my loved ones and my boss that had helped strengthened my resolve. Now, I felt like I'm on a new road with a new scenery. The possibilities of what this journey will give me is just endless. My hope is that I can experience them all and go out at the other end a better person.

I am still in that journey. This new year will be about learning, taking and experiencing as much as possible and become an improved person in all aspects - a more mature and respected individual, a more contributing member of the community and a more knowledgeable IT professional. To my loved ones, I hope they'll accept me and love me as much as before.