A New Chapter - A reflection

I was reflecting to a friend recently how much fun I had in writing in my previous blog and how I'm struggling sometimes to find words to write in here.

I stopped blogging back in 2007 due to certain things that happened in my life back then. But upon receiving confirmation that I'll be coming to UK, I decided to start a new blog. This blog was supposed to document my new life journey as a student again and living in a totally new country on my own. Hence the name A New Chapter. But somehow, it didn't turn out that way. And I realized as well that my style of writing had now changed.

In my previous blog, it was more of me penning out events that happened in my life and putting down my thoughts and feelings on them. Now, I feel a certain reluctance in sharing my private life. What more those that concerns my feelings. In fact, I have even stopped making updates on my facebook. It has crossed my mind once or twice to delete my profile, but the thought of losing the link to my friends are what stopped me.

My writing is now more reflective. An influence from all the essays that I have to write for my Masters course, I guess. (I would like to think that it is a critical thinking work, but that would just be wishful thinking on my part :p). Maybe one day I'll try to put you guys to sleep by writing about systems thinking, which is the theme of my dissertation right now, hehe.

I've written about politics because I think the politics in our country is in a bad shape right now. Plus I absolutely detest people who are hypocrites and applying double standard, regardless of the right and wrong. So I do get a bit emotional on this. I've been talking about the weather a lot as well, maybe because I'm just fascinated by the inter-changeable weather that we have in UK. It still hasn't cease to amaze me how fast things can change here. And I think the locals feel the same way as well, that's why the easiest way to strike up a conversation with the locals here is just to comment on the weather.

I'm also trying to put into words my recent reflections and thoughts that have been occupying my life the past two months. Slowly, it will come. Right now I don't believe I am ready yet. I've made a mistake in entering a discussion with a close friend recently on things that I obviously had little knowledge of. Fortunately, he had the wisdom more than me to back out from it. Well, we live and learn. And I've realized that I have a lot to catch up on.

A New Chapter fits the blog and perhaps the new me, more than I had initially envisioned. Here's to a better me, insya Allah. And hopefully it will lead to better writing, better reflections.

Weather talk again! :p

I saw a friend's picture on facebook today, a picture that reminded me of rain. Suddenly, I'm feeling homesick. I love rain. I love the sounds that they make, especially when they fall on the roof of your house. I love the fresh, cool air that comes with the rain. I love the fresh smells that whiff from the rain (err, except if there's a kandang babi nearby :p). And I especially love it when you woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of pouring rain, and the air is getting cold that you have to snuggle yourself under a blanket, and then you let the sound of the rain lulls you back to sleep. There's a calm feeling that just settles around you.

In UK, it rains most of the times, but it is very light. It doesn't make any noise and it doesn't drench you. It keeps the air cool and fresh but it just doesn't have the same aura as the hard, pouring rain that we have in Malaysia. I do miss the rain. Plus, when the rain pours, that is one of the times that doa is mustajab. :)

ps: Err, do I sound like a Brit who can't talk about anything interesting but the weather? heh, scary thought :p

Crime and Us

Kejadian ragut di Malaysia is apparently becoming more rampant. According to the recent forum on Halaqah, the latest statistics from PDRM stated that between Jan 2009 to April 2009, there had been a total of 3437 reported cases. That brings to an average of 859 cases per month and a total of 28 cases per day! My God!! And apparently as well, these criminals are now so heartless, they'll do anything just to get a few ringgits worth of money.

Besides kes2 ragut, I've also heard of more crimes being committed on the road, esp by mat rempits. Recently, I read from a friend's status, that her colleague was stabbed in the neck. Alhamdulillah, I believe he is recovering right now.

I am now feeling quite anxious about coming back to Malaysia again. Is it still a safe place for us to live there? What has become of our country, of our people? What has become of the moral and akhlak of the citizens?

"Sesungguhnya Allah tidak mengubah apa yang ada pada sesuatu kaum sehingga mereka mengubah apa yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri" ( Surah Al-Ra'd: 11 )

Are we being too complacent in putting the whole responsibility for change on the country's leadership, that we forget it all has to start with ourselves? We see thousands of Malaysians now membuat demonstrasi here and there mengutuk kerajaan and what not, but of those thousands, how many are asking to the right source for change to happen? Berapa ramai yang balik dari demonstrasi terus solat dengan khusyuk dan berdoa "Wahai Tuhan kami, berikanlah kepada kami kebaikan di dunia dan kebaikan di akhirat dan peliharalah kami akan azab api Neraka." ?

Of those thousands that kept mengutuk kerajaan about rasuah and guna duit haram, how many of them check themselves everyday - adakah duit, makanan, pakaian, rumah dan segala harta datang dari sumber yang halal? Adakah kita ada ambil kesempatan membuat claim lebih dengan company? Adakah kita amanah dengan kerja kita dan kita yakin gaji kita adalah halal? Adakah kita telah membayar semua hutang pembiayaan pelajaran kita? Adakah pembiayaan rumah dan kereta kita mengikut pembiayaan Islam dan bukan dengan sistem riba? The implication of riba itself is serious but in Malaysia it is taken too lightly by most people. (Check out Uztaz Zaharuddin's blog for more detail on this.)

"Dan dirikanlah solat, sesungguhnya solat itu mencegah dari perbuatan-perbuatan keji dan mungkar" (Surah al-Ankabut: 45)

Based on this ayat, if everyone around us solat, we should be living in a crime-free world right? A world where everyone does good, and no one does any bad things. But we keep hearing of people yang solat lima waktu, tapi ambil rasuah. Solat, tapi mencuri. In this case, it goes back to the implementation of the solat itself and the life surrounding that person. Does the person solat dengan kusyuk dengan penuh pengharapan untuk menjadi hamba yang diredhai Allah? Adakah dia meminta dengan bersungguh-sungguh apabila dia mengucapkan "Tunjukkanlah kami jalan yang lurus" 17 kali sehari? Does he put aim in his heart to be a good muslim? Does he clear his life from eating and taking things that are haram? And does he ask, doa for Allah's help to make him a good Muslim?

“Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu (Muhammad) mengenai Aku maka (beritahu kepada mereka): Sesungguhnya Aku (Allah) sentiasa hampir (kepada mereka); Aku perkenankan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila dia berdoa kepada-Ku. Maka hendaklah mereka menyahut seruan-Ku (dengan mematuhi perintah-Ku), dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepada-Ku supaya mereka mendapat petunjuk.” (surah al-Baqarah: 186).

This is a reminder to myself untuk memperbaiki my solat, aim untuk khusyuk and istiqamah, clear my life of anything that is haram, find ilmu, learn Quran and aim untuk beramal dengannya. Insya Allah.

The weather went from a sunny 30degrees C to 10degrees C in a space of one week. That is UK weather for you :p

Of course in winter, I've experienced snow to light rain to sunshine in a space of an hour!

The weather here is soo unpredictable, Subhanallah.

UK Vote - a continuation.

My meeting with my supervisor has been postponed to Monday due to some misunderstanding of time. Sigghh...

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Anyway, just to clear some confusion (for I was myself confused :p), it wasn't a UK election but a European election instead. This is to elect the Members of European Parliament (MEP), which is one of EU's two legislative bodies. There are a total of 785 MEPs where 78 of them will be elected from Britain.

I don't think a lot of people bothered so much about the European elections here (well, in Lancaster at least). I don't see a lot of banners around. The only party that had made some effort is the Conservatives. I received their leaflet "Vote for Change" in my postbox, with their main cause to maintain/increase Britain's independence from EU's tight regulations and standardisation. They are even campaigning against changing the weight metrics from pound to kilogram! :p

What I found really interesting however is the fact that I get to vote as well even though I'm not a resident. I just wonder what would happen if the same policy is being applied in Malaysia. Probably every candidate will start throwing money at foreign students and immigrants like nobody's business. At least right now we know the money is being given to the legal citizens. One way of looking at the bright side of it, right? :p

UK Vote

It is voting day today. And surprise, surprise, I vote! My first time ever. And it's not even for my own country hehe.

I have some thoughts that I wanted to pen down on this. But will have to take a raincheck for now. Have some studies deadlines that I need to meet first :p.

I received a very sad news today. A friend, my Lancaster family member here had lost her mother just a few hours ago. It came as a shock to her as her mother had been well all this while. In fact, the mother was planning to come over to Lancaster in the next few months to witness the birth of her second child. My friend was overcome with grief. And those around her cried with her. During the emergency tahlil and solat jenazah that we had just now, not one person there could hold back the tears.

Her tears were mixed of sadness for the loss and the regret, rasa terkilan for not being able to see the mother for the last time. It is a feeling that all of us being in perantauan can empathise. Deep down, each one of us have this fear of losing a loved one while we are away from them. The fear that the last meeting we had a few months back would be the last that we will ever had. The regret that we may not have spend enough time together will be like nails that keep piercing our hearts.

For us though, it was only the possibility that haunts us. For her, it had become a reality.

Sabarlah wahai kawanku.

"Sesungguhnya kita adalah kepunyaan Allah dan kepadaNya jualah kita akan kembali."

Al-fatihah.